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Hey, Jess! Hope you don’t mind me texting you.
I was about to hit send, and then… I paused.
Why was I hesitating? Jess had given me her number for a reason — in case I needed to reschedule an appointment. But I wasn’t rescheduling. I was just thinking about our last conversation. The one where we talked about bangs.
I do NOT want to reschedule. I’ll BE THERE!
That text went through. But before I could put my phone down, another thought hit me.
Should I mention that I’m leaning toward getting bangs?
I’ve just been thinking of our conversation about possibly getting bangs, and I’m excited! No need to reply!
Sent.
Why did I add “no need to reply”? Because part of me was trying to manage Jess’s reaction before she even had a chance to read the message. I was reassuring her that she didn’t need to engage — because somewhere deep inside, I was afraid of her not replying.
But this wasn’t just about texting my hairdresser. It was about control, uncertainty, and managing anxiety.
When Bangs Become a Metaphor for Decision Anxiety
It wasn’t just about getting bangs.
The idea of cutting bangs had become a mental tug-of-war. On one side was excitement — a chance to reinvent my look, try something new, and shake things up. On the other side? Doubt, fear, and overanalysis.
What if I hated them?
What if they didn’t grow out the way I wanted?
What if I regretted it immediately and had to spend months pinning them back or hiding them under a hat?
This internal dialogue wasn’t new. I’d been here before — not about hair, but about life.
- The hesitation before hitting “send” on an important email.
- The endless loop of “what-ifs” before committing to plans.
- The tendency to second-guess decisions, no matter how small.
This is what anxiety does.
It takes a seemingly trivial choice and turns it into an emotionally charged decision that feels monumental. And in that moment, my potential bangs became the physical representation of every uncertain decision I’d ever agonized over.
Memory Lane and the Power of Nostalgia
A few days after texting Jess, I stumbled across an old photo of myself.
OMG, I found this photo and I HAD to send it to you. It’s me when I was 7 — with bangs!
That text went out at 6:11 AM on a Wednesday. Because when anxiety is running the show, time zones and appropriate texting hours no longer apply.
Seeing that photo was a gut punch of nostalgia.
I looked so carefree. So confident.
I wasn’t overthinking my hairstyle when I was 7. I had bangs, and I rocked them. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, though, that carefree attitude got replaced by over analysis and fear of making the wrong decision.
Dreams, Signs, and the Search for Reassurance
As if my subconscious was as obsessed with this decision as I was, I had a dream about getting bangs.
Had a dream last night that I think is a sign I’m meant to get bangs! Will tell you about it at my appointment.
My brain wasn’t just giving me random dreams. It was searching for signs. A way to outsource certainty in a decision I was too anxious to make on my own.
Anxiety loves certainty. But life? Life rarely gives us that. So when we can’t get clear answers, our anxious minds look for reassurance wherever they can find it — even in dreams.
When Conference Speakers and Bangs Become a Distraction
Then came the conference.
OMG. Went to a work conference this week and the closing speaker didn’t have bangs in her promo photo, but then DID in real life.
I couldn’t focus on Algorithmic Semiotics and Brand Identity Formation in Digital Ecosystems because I was laser-focused on the speaker’s bangs.
She looked great with bangs. But all I could think about was:
Did she regret them?
Had she gone through the same emotional rollercoaster I was experiencing?
Was she counting down the days until they grew out?
I didn’t approach her after the talk. The line was too long, and I wasn’t about to ask a world-renowned digital marketing expert about her thoughts on growing out bangs.
But that didn’t stop me from obsessing about it afterward.
Spiraling Into Overanalysis — and the Fear of Regret
The next text came at 2:52 AM.
If women regret getting bangs, how long does that regret usually last?
I wasn’t just asking about bangs. I was asking about regret itself.
How long do we carry regret?
When you have anxiety, the fear of regret looms over every decision. It’s not just about making the “wrong” choice — it’s about the emotional weight you’ll have to carry if things don’t go the way you hoped.
My brain was doing what anxious brains do best: preparing for worst-case scenarios. And somewhere along the way, bangs had become the stand-in for every fear of regret I’d ever had.
Growing Out Bangs and Growing Through Anxiety
I was spiraling. But then I realized something.
Maybe the speaker didn’t regret her bangs.
Maybe she was happy with her decision. Maybe she wasn’t worried about how long it would take to grow them out because she wasn’t stuck in a cycle of catastrophic thinking.
And that’s when it hit me:
Even if I regretted getting bangs, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
They’d grow out. I’d adjust. Life would move on.
Just like with other decisions — the ones that feel life-altering in the moment but turn out to be just another chapter in the story.
What Bangs (and Anxiety) Have Taught Me
By the time I walked into Jess’s salon for my appointment, I was still unsure about whether I’d go through with it. But something had shifted.
I realized that the fear of regret was holding me hostage.
And whether I left that salon with bangs or not, I was walking away with a deeper understanding of how anxiety twists small decisions into monumental dilemmas.
Here’s what I learned:
- Perfection Is an Illusion: No decision is ever perfect, and that’s okay.
- Regret Isn’t Permanent: Even if you make a choice you’re not happy with, it doesn’t define you forever.
- Trust Yourself More: You’re more resilient than you give yourself credit for.
So, Did I Get Bangs?
Well… I guess you’ll have to wait for the next text to Jess to find out. 😉
But whether I went through with it or not, I walked away with something even better:
The courage to embrace uncertainty and trust that I can handle whatever comes next — bangs or no bangs.
