by A Guide to Knowing When To Run From Me
“I’m Fine”: The Silent Weight of Emotional Burnout in Women
It usually begins quietly.
So quietly that even I believe the lie when I say it out loud:
“I’m fine.”
There are no tears, no dramatic outbursts—just a well-practiced smile and a sense of eerie calm I don’t fully trust. I go through the daily motions like a machine: packing lunches, replying to emails, folding laundry, managing dinner, helping with homework. It’s what many call “being productive.” But inside, a slow simmer builds.
The Hidden Mental Load
Behind the smile, I keep a mental checklist. Not just of tasks—but of resentments.
The wet towel left on the bed.
The socks that never make it to the laundry basket.
The question I ask—“Do you need anything from the store?”—ignored until it turns into a frustrated, “Why didn’t you get coffee?”
These things don’t go away. They get filed away. Into what I call The Vault—that emotional storage unit where women stash the daily slights and unnoticed labor.
The Unseen Cost of “I’m Fine”
The emotional burnout women face isn’t loud. It’s passive.
It’s a slow erosion.
It’s the weight of emotional labor—a concept that sounds soft but feels crushing.
We become experts in hiding stress. Experts in self-neglect. We manage everything for everyone and put our own needs last. The result? We explode over the wrong coffee order or break down over unfolded laundry—not because of the coffee or the clothes, but because of everything else.
The Mental Load Is Real — And It’s Exhausting
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. Millions of women live this quiet script daily. It’s not about weakness or overreaction. It’s about unspoken expectations. It’s about invisible labor—the planning, the organizing, the remembering that no one else seems to see.
And so, we say “I’m fine” when we’re anything but.
What Needs to Change
Awareness is the first step. If you’re nodding along, here’s what you can do:
- Acknowledge your feelings. Suppressing them only fuels resentment.
- Communicate clearly. Ask for help. Set boundaries. Explain the weight you’re carrying.
- Share the mental load. Make invisible labor visible to those around you.
- Practice self-care unapologetically. You matter, and your well-being deserves attention too.
The Takeaway
Saying “I’m fine” shouldn’t be our default.
Let’s start saying what we really feel. Let’s redefine strength—not as silent endurance, but as the courage to speak up and demand emotional equity in our homes, workplaces, and lives.
Because you’re not crazy, overreacting, or alone—you’re carrying too much. And it’s time to put some of it down.
This piece really resonated with me, especially the part about the mental ledger and The Vault. It’s such a raw and honest depiction of the emotional labor women endure daily. I’ve had moments where I felt like a “domestic automaton,” just going through the motions while simmering inside. The frustration of small, ignored requests can build up so quickly, and it’s exhausting. That line about the patriarchy standing because we’re too busy doing six people’s jobs at home hit hard—it’s so true. But I also loved the idea of liberation through menopause, finding a voice that’s been silenced for too long. Do you think this anger, once it’s fully expressed, could actually be a catalyst for real change? Or does it just leave us feeling raw and vulnerable, with nothing shifting in the long run? I’d love to hear your thoughts!