by Why using bad language at home might actually be good parenting
I’m a bit of a sweary bunny. I’ve always had a fondness for a well-crafted curse word—there’s something so satisfying about stringing together a series of expletives into a chaotic little symphony of rage and release. Honestly, I consider it a creative outlet.
But then I became a parent.
Suddenly, all the parenting books, podcasts, and judgy online forums were telling me I had to scrub my mouth clean. No swearing in front of my child, they said. Doing so would corrupt his innocent mind, stunt his emotional development, and possibly turn him into the sort of adult who gets banned from family WhatsApp groups.
I took this seriously at first. I really did. I tried the wholesome substitutions. “Sugar!” “Oh, biscuits!” “Fudge monkeys!”
Reader, it did not work.
Because parenting is hard. And sometimes, when you’ve just stepped barefoot on Lego or been asked “Why?” for the 147th time that hour, nothing gets the job done quite like a hearty f-bomb. I’m no Mary Poppins, and frankly, neither was she once the cameras stopped rolling.
But here’s the good news for people like me (and maybe you): swearing in front of your kids isn’t necessarily a parenting fail. In fact, done right, it can actually be good for them—and for you. Scientists, psychologists, and even some parenting experts (not the pearl-clutchy ones) are starting to agree.
Win-fucking-win. Let’s unpack it.
1. Swearing Makes You Feel Better
Let’s start with the basics: swearing is cathartic. According to the Association for Psychological Science, letting a few expletives fly can actually reduce physical pain and increase emotional resilience. That’s not just anecdotal—it’s science.
In one famous study, participants were asked to submerge their hands in ice-cold water. Those who swore while doing it were able to keep their hands in longer than those who kept it clean. So basically, swearing is a legit coping strategy. The next time you stub your toe on the high chair or get projectile-sneezed on mid-brekkie, go ahead—let it rip.
It’s called self-regulation. And it’s cheaper than therapy.
2. Swearing Teaches Context and Boundaries
Here’s a parenting truth bomb: your kids are going to hear swearing somewhere. On the playground. In music. From that one uncle who never got the memo.
So isn’t it better that they hear it from you—in a context where you can model responsible use?
Swearing around your kids gives you the chance to teach them that words have power, and with great power comes… well, the wisdom to not shout “sh*t” during Grandma’s birthday toast.
If your child hears you curse when you drop a pan but also hears you say, “We don’t use that word at school or around other people—it’s just something grown-ups might say when they’re frustrated,” then congratulations: you’ve just taught them about nuance, timing, and social awareness.
Gold parenting star for you.
3. It Can Build Emotional Honesty
Kids are emotional sponges. They can tell when you’re upset, even if you’re trying to mask it with chirpy, sanitized language. Saying, “Oh no, that’s unfortunate,” through gritted teeth isn’t fooling anyone.
Swearing—used appropriately—can show your child that it’s okay to express big feelings. That adults get mad, overwhelmed, and frustrated too. It normalizes emotion, rather than pretending everything’s fine when it clearly isn’t.
Now, this doesn’t mean turning your kitchen into a Quentin Tarantino script every time the Wi-Fi goes down. But a well-placed “Oh bloody hell” in a moment of chaos? That’s just being real.
4. It Can Actually Improve Your Relationship
Believe it or not, swearing can make you more relatable. When your child sees you being authentically yourself—flaws, f-bombs, and all—it helps build trust.
They learn that you’re not pretending to be a perfect grown-up. You’re a human, just like them. And that connection is the foundation of good parenting.
You’re also modelling that life isn’t about being flawless—it’s about owning your feelings, laughing at your mistakes, and sometimes yelling “SON OF A BISCUIT!” when you sit on a sippy cup.
So… Should You Swear in Front of Your Kids?
Like most things in parenting, it’s all about balance and intention. Swearing as a form of expression? Sure. Swearing at your kids in anger? Big no. But letting a few curse words out when you burn the toast or reverse into a shopping trolley? You’re fine.
Actually, you’re more than fine—you’re showing your child how to navigate the world with emotion, honesty, and maybe a little flair.
So here’s to the parents with potty mouths and full hearts. The ones who can turn “shitstorm” into a teachable moment. Keep it real, keep it kind, and when in doubt—swear softly (or at least behind the fridge).
