by 
The Art of Not Thinking: How to Finally Get That Electric Sponge in Your Head to Quiet Down 🧠🤫
I’m a polyglot. You know what holds most people back from becoming fluent in another language?
They think too much.
A new language learner walks up to a native speaker and spends most of the conversation trapped in their own head, obsessing over every word.
“Did I use that conjugation correctly? My accent is probably terrible. Wait…what did that word mean?”
They focus so intently on translating every word and formulating the perfect response that they completely miss what’s happening in the moment.
In doing so, they slowly drift away from the real purpose of conversation — connection.
Then, that dreaded silence creeps in.
The newbie realizes they’ve been gripping their head in awkward quiet for too long and blurts out, “Sorry! My Spanish/Portuguese/(insert language) isn’t good!”
And just like that, the connection is gone.
When Perfection Gets in the Way
These moments can be incredibly frustrating. I’ve been there.
I’d walk away from conversations, mentally replaying everything I said — remembering the phrase I should have used or the verb I conjugated incorrectly. I’d stew in that familiar feeling of embarrassment, convinced I had looked foolish in front of a native speaker.
But here’s the truth:
Most people aren’t judging you nearly as harshly as you’re judging yourself.
They’re usually just excited that someone is trying to learn their language. They don’t care if your grammar is perfect or if you sound like a textbook. They care that you’re making an effort.
A Lesson in Mexico City
I’ll never forget a moment that completely shifted my perspective.
Years ago, I was in Mexico City and met a Russian guy who had just started learning Spanish. I had been at it for a couple of years by then, and my competitive brain was itching to show off.
We wandered through the local markets, and when we approached a fruit stand, I was ready.
“Hola, buenas tardes,” I said smoothly — the customary greeting.
“Me gustaría…” (check out that flawless use of the conditional tense) “…un kilo de manzanas, porfa.”
I nailed it. I even used “porfa” — the casual, shortened version of “por favor,” a detail that showed just how in tune I was with local slang.
Feeling smug, I turned to my Russian friend, fully expecting that I’d need to help him through his order.
He pointed at a banana and confidently said:
“Uno banana.”
Wrong word. No gender agreement. And he could’ve just said “un.”
I braced myself for an awkward exchange… but to my surprise, the vendor smiled and asked,
“¿De dónde eres?” (Where are you from?)
What happened next floored me.
My Russian friend dove into a conversation with the vendor. His pronunciation was off, and he was using all the wrong words — but none of that mattered.
They were laughing and connecting like old friends.
Meanwhile, I had been meticulously constructing perfect sentences in my head while completely missing the magic of the interaction.
Why Overthinking Kills Connection
Watching that exchange was a wake-up call.
Where I had been consumed with doing everything right, my friend was just going for it.
He wasn’t worried about perfect grammar or saying the exact right thing. He was fully present in the moment, focused on connection instead of correctness.
And guess what? It worked.
Shooting from the Hip and Nailing It
When it comes to learning — whether it’s a language, a skill, or even navigating life — perfection is overrated.
Overthinking kills spontaneity.
That electric sponge in your head (aka your brain) is constantly analyzing, correcting, and micromanaging. But when you’re too busy trying to avoid mistakes, you miss out on the real experiences that matter.
My Russian friend taught me a lesson I’ll never forget:
Stop thinking so much.
Just take the shot. Say the wrong word. Use the wrong tense. Laugh it off.
Be in the moment.
Because sometimes, shooting from the hip is what leads to the most genuine and unforgettable connections.
So, How Do You Shut the Sponge Off?
- Stop Chasing Perfection: Progress beats perfection every time.
- Be Okay with Mistakes: Mistakes are part of learning. Embrace them.
- Stay Present: Focus on the person in front of you, not the perfect response.
Whether you’re learning a language or just trying to navigate life’s unpredictable conversations, remember:
Connection happens when you stop thinking and start being.
So give that electric sponge a break and let yourself just… be. 🌱
